half way

well well i am halfway pass the time is which i am suppose to serve my nation. every guy does this in 1 way or another, so what can i say. however, i feel very detached fron the real world. i feel that i am just viewing the world through a window and although i can see and feel the world outside, it does not belong to me. they say the first half is the hardest, than time will hurry in the 2nd half. i hope that is true. it is the first time in my life that i wish time had accelearated, first time i hope to quickly pass this time. but i too am afraid, like my friend said: after uni we are just going to age and slowly die. are the best over? or is it yet to come. i prefer to think that the later is true.

sometimes i guess you will think that my actions are weird and what the hell am i doing. actually i am just another shy person whom dont know how to express myself properly.