hi blog i am back again

Life havent really been very kind to me, he is like a temperamental bitch. this week wasnt that fantastic, in fact i didnt have a fantastic week for months already. last week was a little of a salvage but now my heart is like a hollow tube.

recently i have been looking out of the window more and more often, the future frightens me terribly actually. what if my life turns into this big disaster, maybe i am just too afraid of failure. this feeling i have to admit is very foreign to me. i never seem to live in the past or future only in the present, but now i constantly think about the path i want. I realised that i am without a real true dream i can cherish or hold on to. perhaps i can say that i know what i dont want, but i dont know what i want at all.

19,20 this 2 important years of my life would be gone really quickly with nothing done at all. i feel trapped in a place that rejects me constantly, i can truly say i dont belong here.

if there is a animal that best describe me, i would say it would be a wolf. one who hunts with a pack but is always lonely. it is not that i do not have close friends who i can talk to regarding virtually anything, nor do i have terrible parents that drives me to the edge. but life is not satisfying me at all. Maybe i am too greedy, but which human being isnt.